Happy International Hangover Day 2012
August 6, 2012
Good morning and welcome to International Hangover Day: the after party of International Beer Day! Who, me? No I'm fine. Really. ...a little sleepy, but I actually feel pretty good considering! Hey sometimes you just lucky I guess! Anyway I'm actually on my way to the bathroom, then I'll probably lay down little bit more. I'll see you later, we've got a great day ahead of us!
AAAAAHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......whhhhyyyyyyyyyyyy?????? Ahhhh, what di I do last nighht? I thik my brainis about t expode! I feeel lik a desert with an oasis for a bladder. I don't evn wan to get up to pee, its not wort hit! I'm jst
gonna do it right here in my bed! What? I'm not in my bed? How dd I get into the Free Masons lodge again? That's it, I'm never goignto be the mayor if internatal hangover dyad agin! I'm serius! Ireally men it thus time! What? Sure,
ok yah, but I REALLY men it thus time!!
Oh Sure, bein the mayor of Interracial hanover day had its momens int he past: sweatpants, cold piza, late mornig Goldn Grls reruins . Butt now look a mee. I'm curled up in a fetal psition wearing a backwards Lilith Fair tshirt and trying to use a fitted sheett as ablanket. That's it ,form now on its a hole knew me. Know more wasted days staring into uneatn chickn tenders wondering aboot the meaningles f life. GOne are the day s of cold, hard porcelin pillows, caked in remnants f the nightbefore. In the past are th- oh jeeze! hold on a sec!
...whoa nelly!.........Hey Remmber Nelly from Junor High? Man, Iwonder what sh's up to this days...........?
...Oh yeahh, she's workign downtown at the jewelry storee< i forgot.
Ok, this Lilith Fair tshirt IS x-tra large ,but I spose i shold pput on some pants anywy. Afterall, todays the start of the new me. Pants eveyday for this man now! Imay once have benn the mayor of interrational hangovers day ,but now ,I'm just an norml everyday guy. If I had pants to put on, I'd put them on one legg at a tim, just lik you.
Oh boy, hol don a sec.
Oh man, Im ' starvin. Timefor Brunner, the only meal of International hungouvre dad. For those f yu new to interhangday, brunner was invented knowig yu wil prbably only be able t o stomach one meal today, so i t includes all the major food groups like breakfast, lunch and fruit snacks.
I must say, aftr a little food in my stomach, I feel almots human again. Maybe it' s time to 'Bite the dog that bit me', as they say.... Judging form the marks on my forearms I'd say it was some sort of lab or aUstrailian shepard.
You know, there's nothing better than a good brunner and sinking your teeth into your neighbor's seeing eye lab, except maybe cracking open an ice-cold beer while watching the son go down. Today has been a trial, but then I guess that's what life is. And that's what International Hangover Day is really all about: trials. And restraining orders, and subpoenas, and parking tickets. And by golly, if I can get through this animal abuse hearing in one piece then I most certainly can be the Mayor of International Hangover Day. So here's hoping I don't get thrown the book this coming Friday, August 10 at 11:30 am, and here's hoping I'll see YOU next International Hangover Da- oh jeeze!- BARFsplat!!
Guest writer Aaron Araki is the Mayor of International Hangover Day, as well as the frontman of the fantastic rock'n'roll band Windham Flat.